Alex Band UK

Aaaah, a nice, long break, a minute to rest, a breezy drive in a convertible, a breakfast in bed, a day of shopping, a video game session with my brothers, a wake up time of 12 pm…
wake up time of 1PM…
a wake up time of 2PM…
a wake up time of whenever the f*ck I feel like it…

then, Aaaah, a major plane malfunction on takeoff, a band that gets off the plane, a flight to Europe alone, a six-hour layover in London, a two-hour night’s sleep, a full day of never ending work alone, a scary performance on MTV alone, all alone, alone, and… a band returns, a real Mother arrives, a mistake booking on a propeller plane, another flight ditched, a 9-hour drive from Germany to Paris, a realization we drove 4 hours in the wrong direction, a band getting lost in 4 different countries, a rental car being pushed to 250 KMH the Autobahn, a mobbing in Roman ruins, a walk along the red light district, a run-in with Lifehouse, a run-in with Avril Lavigne, a run-in with hard-core fans all over Europe, a drunken, late-night in Sweden, a serving of caterpillar at dinner, a million photo shoots already, a million interviews already, a million acoustic performances already, a million wake up calls already, a day off, finally, and now a chance to look back on it all and laugh, priceless.

Hey everyone! We’re at it again and there’s so much to yap about that I decided to cut this trip into two or three tour diary entrees so you’ll all be up to date. Our break went great and all, blah, blah, blah, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. We want the gossip, the inside shenanigans, the tell all. So here we go.

It all started with a little plane ride from LAX to Cologne Germany. We were all ready to go. Talking it up in business class. The plane started its fast accelleration down the runway from LA. Just as we were lifting off the ground the plane slammed back down and came to a harsh stop screeching on the brakes. That’s when the captain came on and said, “uh oh, that didn’t go well, hold on here” (real comforting). That’s when the worried looks throughout the packed flight set in. I thought LAX had blown up or something of that nature. We made our way back to the gate and parked. The captain came on again and said that a hydraulic pump had went out just as we were taking off and had to be repaired. We sat there for a long time as they worked on the plane. Aaron and the other guys weren’t too keen on flying this plane even after it was fixed so they expressed their concern with the not-very-helpful stewardesses. Just as the plane departed again from the gate, the other captain came back to talk to who he knew was The Calling. In his attempt to calm us and reassure us all was fine he did just the opposite. He said, “look, honestly, we didn’t even fix the problem(?!!), there are 8 hydraulic pumps on a plane and only one wasn’t working and it was fine to fly without it”. Needless to say this did not help my fellow band’s fears. They were getting off. We drove back to the gate yet again and waited one and a half hours as the crew sifted through the 1000+ baggage to find the band’s luggage. Rumors of what was happening spread through the cabin and talks of a stupid band being scared and getting off was everywhere. Naturally, this delay meant practically everyone on the flight missed their connection in London including me. Why did I stay? Well, I’m a hard worker and didn’t want to miss a whole day of promo in Germany and my biological Mother was going to be there for that one day and I didn’t want to miss seeing and talking to her for the first time in over five years. The rest of the flight was scary for me because of the regret that maybe I should’ve gotten off. Ever bump and free fall was like EEEK! What am I doing, I should have gotten off. I understand why the band did, trust me they had every reason to be freaked out.

Anyway, I got to London really late and missed my flight and had to be switched over to another airline and wait like five hours. No worries, cause there are lots of stores in the London Heathrow Airport. I kept getting nasty stares by other passengers on my flight because of what happened. Whatever, what can you do? So I made it to Germany very late and got very little sleep. The band arrived the next night after I had done everything by myself. I even played ‘Adrienne’ acoustically alone on a music TV show which was weird without my pimp Aaron, but it all went cool. The band, my Mom and I all went to Avril Lavigne’s show in this little club in Cologne. The show was great and I got a chance to say ‘Hi’ to her and congratulate her on all her success. We both happen to be on BMG Records over seas. I got to see one of our biggest German fans at that show and she was really sweet. Lots more press and TV later and we were on our flight to Paris, yet of course something had to go wrong.

We rushed to make our flight after a usual jam-packed day to find that we were mistakenly booked on a shitty propeller plane. There’s only, like, one rule that we ask for on tour and that’s not to fly on propeller planes. I’ve had way to many bad experiences on them and it’s was raining and shitty weather that night so I really didn’t want to. Remember the story I told in another tour diary from our first European tour when we flew that plane to Italy called the “Fokker” and it was the biggest crap plane ever built and the scariest ride ever? Well, this was a f*cking “Prop Fokker”, even worse. So we all flipped a coin and said if it lands on tails we would go, and heads we would drive. It landed on tails and we were all like, “f*ck that, that’s the kiss of death, I can see the headlines now: Calling die in plane crash, late-night over Holland after a deciding coin toss”. So Aaron, Billy, our BMG girl and I decided to drive… far. We rented a nice new BMW which would be fun to drive on the Autobahn (a freeway that runs through Germany and a few other countries with NO speed limit). It was a rode trip that started fun and ended almost nine hours later, 5 hours too long. Why you ask? Well, let’s just say we got sort of lost…in Germany, and in Belgium, and in Holland, and in France. We ended up realizing hours into the trip that we had gone 4 hours in the wrong direction and ended up having to make a huge U-turn.

We first got lost in Belgium on a road called “the ring”… we just kept going in circles for some reason… I know, we’re retarded. It was fun though. We all took turns driving. We would redline the car’s engine at like 155 MPH the whole way to make good time. One thing I don’t recommend is putting your head out the sun roof at that speed. I tried it and almost died. I stuck it out for like .5 seconds and came back in with a mo hawk and slobber all streaked down my cheeks, my face stuck in a massive smiley freak grin. It was funny. We stopped to get food and got lost again. I had a rancid chocolate milk for dinner which made me sicker than Aaron’s driving.

After 9 hours and a lot of oh-so-helpful phone call directions, we finally made it to Paris. I went to sleep at like 5 AM. Needless to say, I was a zombie the next day (oooh, more rhyming). It was great to see all these fans in all these countries we’ve been at. In Paris, a girl named Karima (I think) gave me the coolest “Calling Magazine” with pictures from shows all over the world, info about us band members I didn’t even know, and even a Ferrari fund dedication page! You guys are nutz, but I love ya.

Oh yah, before I forget, I want to clear up some heavy debated rumors that were spreading around the Forum…Yes, I did try to talk to fans in the chat room late at night unsuccessfully, and YES, I did for the first time look at the Forum and write a little message explaining that situation during my break, and YES, I had a great frikkin time reading the hundreds of posts debating whether it really was me or not that had left that message…just lettin ya all know. After Paris we left to fly to Rome Italy.

I hadn’t been back to Italy since we shot ‘Music In High Places’ (which is coming out in stores near you, buy a copy, or maybe two… oh, God). Well, our one day in Rome was up there with those crazy days in Thailand back in the day. There were hundreds of girls attacking us at TRL and our in-store and following us on there little scooters and falling and grabbing… anything and everything… I’m pretty sure my “you know what” was snapped at like 50 times that day.

It was so cool to do TRL right in the middle of thousands of year old Roman ruins… who’s life is this? Dino was in Italian Stallion heaven in Italy… he even, dare I say it, partook in some red meat face stuffing! It was funny cause BMG had gotten us all massages for a good days work, but when we got back to the hotel that night there were these three scraggily women who were freelance masseuses with names like Ezmorelda and Frederikashamapagafanama haha ya?… etc. Anyway I was, like, o.k. I could use a massage, until one of them pulls out this f*cking dental floss looking G string and said, “you wear only this like good boy, no?” Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but let’s just say it was a creepy yet highly entertaining few minutes.

It’s so strange to go to Italy now and cruise the streets in this fashion after I’ve spent a lot of my life there and both my parents grew up in Rome. It was almost like the feeling when we came back to Los Angeles at the end of last year to find our song on the radio every second, our video on TV, and people, a lot of people, actually attending one of our shows.

We went to Amsterdam next. When we were there earlier this year I didn’t get to see anything cause I was working so hard, so this time I was determined to see at least one naked prostitute standing in a glass window with a red light over her head and be offered every kind of drug just so I can say the one thing I know in Dutch, “nokin in da Kokin”–(having sex in the kitchen). Amsterdam is really beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but when we went to The Famous Red Light District even though it was crazy and interesting, I almost felt sad. There were all these phenomenal looking women just selling there bodies and inviting in disease and trouble at every door opening all for some cold hard cash. The American-hating taxi driver thought it was funny to drop Billy, Nate and I to the super gay part of the district. We got out and said thanks taxi man, and as we look around in horror, we all started to quickly realize that the store “Cockrings” was just the beginning. Billy was like, RUN! Run as fast as you can, before they take poor little Alex!

So the next day we learned that on sheer coincidence Lifehouse happened to be staying in our very hotel doing the same MTV shows we were doing and oh, did I mention they even have our old manager now? I unfortunately didn’t get a chance to see Sean and wish him the best, but I did run into Jason. You know I’ll say it again for those Lifehouse fans out there. I have NO problems with these people, Jason is incredibly talented and I am a fan of his music and I don’t want any bad blood between us. I was and am just human with feelings, and mine were hurt from both sides. But I hold no grudges and I wish the best for them contrary to what some people debate about.

So now were pretty much caught up to where I am now, Sweden. IT’S TOO COLD! But I like Sweden a lot… Maybe even one of my all time favorites. There’s good food, cute chicks, beautiful scenery, great fans (MAYO you rock! The “Alex” lighter is the coolest), and last but not least, cute chicks… oh, I already said that.

Last night, after we got here, we went to a really nice restaurant and had a lot to drink. I was seeing how many toothpicks I could fit in my mouth and mature stunts of that nature when our food was brought to the table. Billy ordered a huge Lobster and I swear I thought I saw a giant green Caterpillar crawling on his plate. Well, there really was one, but the waiter came and snatched it up before I could get documentation. It was sick. So you’d think we’d get dinner for free? No, I guess not.

The funniest thing about most European countries are the names of stores that sound a little strange in their language. I just saw a super market here called “Slut Spurt”…what the hell?

So we finally just got to see the finished “Could It Be Any Harder” video and I’m very happy for the first time with one of our videos. It makes you feel something that’s on a very deep level without being overtly TRL-friendly and obvious… of course though, that makes its TRL appeal a question in my mind. But, look, no matter what, we’re all going to try just as frikkin’ hard as we did on the other videos, if not harder, and see what happens. You guys will get to see it first as I’ve promised, so sit tight and get ready for our final attempt to make a Calling video #1!

So I’m going to sleep now for as long as humanly possible and be lazy for a day after visiting 5 countries in less than a week you get a little wiped out.

Talk to you soon! All the love! Never be’s doin’ grammar good,

dnaB xelA